The Tales of Eliwood and Company
by Aporro
Summary: It's insanity at its brink as Eliwood's Army travels to kill Nergal. Major OOCness, read and review pl0x. Flames are welcomed.


This was technically the second chapter of my story, but I finished this chapter before the first one. Weird, huh? Anyhoo, this be my first Fire Emblem and all that crap, so this is a test run. This IQ butchering fic will take place during Nergal hunting, slightly before/after the Nergal hunting, and during times that could not have possibly happened. Ever. And major out-of-character warning. Your favorite character will be tortured like no tomorrow. Expect cameos.

Disclaimer: All I own is their whacked-up personalities. I own nothing else. Well, and the song, but no one wants that anyways.

Chapter One: Where's my horse?

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Sain ran into Kent's tent with a wild crazy look on his face. Well, slightly more crazy and wild than usual.

"KENT! WHERE'S MY HORSE?"

Kent looked up blankly from shiny his sword. "Huh?"

Wait! No! Kent will never say Huh! Correction:

"What is wrong, comrade?"

Thaaat's better. Back to the plot-resembling paragraphs.

"WHERE'S MY HORSE?" As Sain flung his arms wide, a strange folk-ish music could be heard cresendo-ing in the background.

Kent stood up, dropped his sword, and assumed a heroic posture. Now the music could be heard at full volume. "You've lost your horse?"

"I'VE LOST MY HORSE!" Now Sain stood with one foot in front of the other, and a hand raised into the air.

"Is it GONE?" Kent took one step towards Sain, never faltering during his stance. A strange 'Do-da do-da do-da do' trumpet sound could also be heard along with a fiddle.

"IT _IS_ GONE!" Sain put a hand to his forehead in a grieving stance, along with a very nice sad face.

"Are you SURE?" Kent took another step forward.

"I AM _SURE_!" Sain flicked his head, never really changing from his stance.

Kent took the last step forward, and they put their arm around each other's shoulders, and wore the same exact expression while singing. In. perfect. Union.

"OHHHHHHH! HE'S LOST HIS HOOOORSE!"

"Doooooo-da do-da dooooo!"

"NOOOOW WHAT WILL HE RIDE IN TO BATTLLLLE?"

"Doooooo-da do-da do-da DOOOO!"

"A cavalier cannot use their feet!" Kent flung his arms at Sain's feet, stating matter-of-factly.

"Of course not! It'll give me arthritis in my KNEES!" Sain stared solemnly at his knees.

"HEEEEEEE'S LOST HIS PRECIOUS HOOORSE!"

"Doooooo-da do-da do-da dooooo!"

"HEEEEEEE CANNOT FIGHT ANYMOOOOORE!"

"Doooooo-da do-da do-da DOOOO!"

"Oh my oh my what are we to do?" Kent put his hands over his mouth.

"Maybe I can get a pair of running shoes!" Sain held a finger up.

"Silly cavalier, you can't do that,"

"It'll leave mud tracks on the mat!" Kent pointed at the handily placed welcome mat.

"HEEEEEEE CAN'T GET RUNNING SHOOOOES!"

"Doooooo-da do-da do-da dooooo!"

"BECAAAAUSE IT'LL LEAVE MARKS ON THE MAT…" Kent looked a little flustered and started scratching his head and trying to think of something that rhymed with shoes and was able to make a bit of sense.

"Ooos?" Sain helpfully suggested timidly.

"Yeah!" Kent immediately brightened.

"Doooooo-da do-da do-da do-da DOOOO!"

"NOOOOW WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DOOOO?"

"Doooooo-da do-da do-da do-da dooooo!"

"WEEEEEE ARE SURELY GOING TO LOOOO… SE."

"Doooooo-da do-da do-da DOOOO!"

"Maybe you can just do without it!"

"Of course not! It takes my critical hits!"

"AAAAAT THIS RATE HE'LL SURELY DIIIIE,"

"Doooooo-da do-da do-da dooooo!"

"LIIIKE A FISH LEFT TO FRYYY!"

"Doooooo-da do-da do-DAAAA!"

"HEEEEE'S, LOOOOOOST, HIIIIIIS, HOOOOORSE!"

"Dun dun dun!"

Then they both did the Can-Can well into the afternoon, not noticing it was a band of Nils and his brothers (who looked very much like Nils)that was playing for them the whole time. Yes, Nil's parents were very VERY in love. Annnd… you know the rest.

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A/N: As of now, I'm gawking stupidly at this fic. I never thought I would ever write anything like this. Ever. It rhymes so horribly. They were both so amazingly out of character. I mean, there's a STANDARD okay? Even for myself! Uuuugh. And it's so SHORT! I don't expect any fans for this, and I'll post the rightful first story up as the first story when I finish that chapter. 


End file.
